tasty-wavves:

You can’t kiss me unless you’re baked cheddar and sour cream ruffles 

earthnation:

are you sure you’re sassy
are you sure not just an annoying piece of shit

gothlolita:

im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names

papermochi:

My talents include looking angry, even though I’m not angry.

Fml, I come home for lunch and can’t even eat my yogurt or jello
And my dad is fucking making omelettes
I’m so hungry

I wonder how long it will take my mom to notice my tongue
Or you know.. My whole family I have to see later today at a barbeque where I’ll be a pussy about eating

Kay yeah
Not diggin this whole tongue hurtin thing
I wanna just skip work omg